Great lesson from Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Successful People) about self-fulfilling prophecy and human potential. If you are a PARENT, COACH, TEACHER – basically, ANYONE who deals with kids, you can NOT afford to miss this message. I’ve personally witnessed so many teachers and parents unfortunately limit their kids’ with unintended and believed to be innocent statements.
Notice in this video the deep significance and impact of OUR/YOUR “FRAMING” present “REALITY” whether it’s social or even personal, (You talking to yourself).
The gist is really this; ANYONE’S POTENTIAL is as much their “REALITY” as their past behavior. To put this another way, when you belittle another (OR, more likely yourself) you not only inhibit that potential for growth you dangerously shift/alter and change your present reality by altering your FUTURE expectations.
Since NOW is the only moment YOU, I or any of us have, and NOW IS ALWAYS changing — for us to fall into this illusion that we can and should judge anothers limitations by their past performance is doing them a great disservice.
Tony Robbin’s has a great, simple quote for this: “The past does not equal the future.”
Here’s the kicker though and how to ensure his statement always rings true, YOU MUST CHANGE/IMPROVE YOUR EXPECTATIONS (of yourself and others).
Here’s a very simple example: As a soccer coach working with kids: I actually use this technique fairly often and it works wonders. This is how it starts… ready?
“Great Kick!” (Then i rush over and give them a BIG HIGH FIVE!!)
Now, you might ask, “Well, was it a great kick?”
Me: “You might not have thought so… and maybe it wasn’t. However, there was great improvement.”
But here’s the kicker (no pun) This kid just heard the word “GREAT” associated with something they just did! For some of these kids the look on their face / the pride is extraordinary! You begin to wonder if they hear words like “GREAT” and their name in the same sentence often.
Here’s another example: Today, I felt great about telling an employee he was “BRILLIANT”. I sincerely meant it. (i think that is the key). Now the guy associates ‘brilliant’ and himself.
Look, this isn’t some sort of psycho-bable (hence, Stephen Covey, above) the key point is our interactions with our kids, spouses, significant others, co-workers can be positive (even electric!) or negative. YOU already know this – but what you may not recognize is with sincerity, we have the ability to expand their belief and therefore their “real” potential. AND, EVEN YOUR OWN!!
Or, I guess, we can just reflect our “reality” which is often very limited information. Since, WE SEE WHAT WE SEEK.
Enjoy & thanks for sharing w/ all those parents/teachers/coaches out there!